I have snuck my way into the computer lab of the local university, so here I am.
It's been almost 3 weeks since I moved down here. There are still a few things in my car (yes, I am that lazy, plus my room is so damn tiny and I don't know where to put the stuff), but I'm basically moved in. My dad is already driving me crazy- the day I moved in, hadn't even unpacked one box from the car, the first thing he said to me: "what are you making for dinner?" My mom is great, basically just giving me space. R talks to her on the phone most nights, he doesn't have any friends he can rely on, he ditched most of them during his fling with the church. He's getting them back, though. I'm glad, he needs friends, he needs somebody to talk to and relax with while he's going through this.
R is in counseling, he's about to upgrade to twice weekly for about a month. I am so glad he is going, it is going to help him so much. He wants me to start coming up to visit for a day or two a week (not for another couple weeks, he has finally realized the need to back off). I don't know. He isn't that religious freak anymore, but he also isn't really himself yet. He's trying so hard, which is just screwing things up more, going from one extreme last month to the other this month. Maybe once he settles back down I will think about it. I've never been able to say no when it comes to him, all logic goes to hell and my brain doesn't even try to override my heart. But I am being strong, I am taking this time for myself and not even offering the option until he's been in counseling a month (almost 2 weeks already, so he is making progress). If I do go up to visit, I think I want it to be on a day he has counseling, so I can go with him and have a couples session, work on some of "our" issues. I won't be sleeping in his bed, none of that kind of stuff, just being in the same half of the state and talking. We'll need a lot of that before we can really do much else toward staying together.
I have about 20 other things to do while I have access to the internet. Thank you everybody for your support and kind words. I couldn't do this without you.