02 November 2010

It's about time I get back here

Again I have no idea what to say. R and the felon have been causing all sorts of drama recently, but I would rather just pretend they both died in their sleep last night than deal with it. He has spent so much time wanting to be my friend, he had to sneak behind her back to contact me but (now that we are past our marriage) the friendship we'd had since high school was important to both of us. She thinks that I initiated all contact and that I'm trying to steal him back from her. She emails me from his facebook account, she texts me from his phone trying to get me to say something incriminating. He gave her the passwords and handed her his phone. He even said that she's allowed to have my number and he wants her to call me anytime she feels like it because he won't ever keep a secret from her. Suddenly G and I are both harassed for days at a time and R says he won't do anything to stop it. Of course, he will hit another low period of his bipolar in a week or two and call me crying that he wants to stay friends and that he'll fix everything. He'll tell her he's going to "run to the store for cigarettes" at 10pm and take an hour to get home, he'll "have lunch at the office" once or twice a week, he'll claim to be "on the phone with mom..." He'll call me or text me every day for a month, begging me to forgive him. And I will talk to him, hoping that he's better, letting myself believe that he will stop her from contacting me again. Another month or two will go by where we only talk once a week. Then she'll sign into his facebook or open his mail and see a note from me thanking him for talking to me one night when I was really stressed, the floodgates will open and I will get threatening messages again. I see a visit to Jerry Springer in her future. I just hope I can finally say goodbye to my friendship with R before I get dragged on that stage with them. I am too sentimental, I hold onto things for much longer than they are worth saving. Time to clean house.

Time to enjoy my life with G! Making his favorite meals; sneaking in wonderful dessert once a month; inventing silly TV watching rules like "commercial time is mandatory make-out time;" feeling his whole body laugh, asking him why, and getting the response of "you were just so cute when you did that, that's why I love you..." This is the life I want, what I want to focus on. Disappear from my life, R, you don't deserve me.


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nirankar said...
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