23 October 2007

Accomplishing my goal, somewhat...

Half the goal is just blogging weekly, which I am doing now. The other half, the part about having something worthwhile to blog about, that's a bunch of crap.

R left on Thursday. Last night was my first night alone, because I spent the weekend at my parents' house with Little H. Yesterday also happened to be the day AF and her sidekick Endo decided to attack. AF prodded Endo to flaunt it's full power and cause major back pain. My body responded the way it usually does to Endo and tried to rid itself of the evil by vomiting. My body does not understand the logic of "Endo is not in my stomach, it is mauling my abdomen from outside the organs." And Endo has not gotten the memo about "BC is supposed to stop the symptoms." Usually Endo is lazy and just causes minor back pain, but this month it has decided to kick into full throttle. I am not happy. And now I'm tired and my belly hurts from wretching all night. Hopefully it was just a one-time thing, because I really don't want another lap anytime soon. The holidays are coming, it's just not a good time for that.

The good news- throwing up made me forget that I was missing R. Usually I can't sleep and am up till 5 am every time he's gone, even for weekend drill. I'm trying desperately to be better this month and thrive while he's gone, not just survive. Tiffany and Argos will take turns sharing my bed. I feel safer and more comfortable when the other side of the bed is not empty. Although I do prefer sleeping with Tiffany over Argos, she doesn't hog the bed. And Argos usually sleeps in the laundry room, guarding the door. I like that idea. He may not actually guard anything, but knowing that anybody trying to break into my house would see a German Shepherd first thing makes me feel better. I still wish I had an unemployed friend or two to stay up here with me, but I made it through the first night OK.

R left the house after I did this weekend (we both went downstate on Wednesday), and he left me a little surprise. Everwhere I looked when I got back were little notes. Most just said "I love you," but there was also "you're perfect," "hello, beautiful," and "hugs and kisses." I was OK with him being gone till I saw those, then I realized that I miss him so much. I did so well when he left, no tears, but seeing those love notes made me break down. So much for being that "perfect military wife" that lets her hubby do his job and leave whenever he has to, showing him how strong she can be and not bawling her eyes out over minor training or field work. At least I'm still a "good military wife" not begging him to stay home or trying to prohibit him from going away. It's harder than I thought. We've been through a big deployment, I thought one little month at school would be easy.

Oh, and I got more work done on my tattoo. Not sure when I'll get pics up (because it's really awkward to hold the camera and try to take a picture of your own leg), but it's awesome. Now the vine goes from my ankle all the way to my butt. Not a smart place to tattoo, btw. The lower ass cusp is quite sensitive, especially near the dimple region. But, it had to go over my butt somewhere to continue to my back. And this sitting accomplished more than the first two combined, my whole thigh and starting on my butt. The first two were calf, then knee. I am so proud of myself for sitting through that much. I really wanted to wimp out 3/4 of the way through my thigh, but I hung in there and did everything we had stenciled. Yeah, I whined the whole fricken time, but I did it. I can't wait to get the outline finished so we can start coloring it in. I love just the outline, but Uncle Tattooist really wants to color it and won't settle for anything less than shading, so I'm all in. Fuck, it's going to hurt. But, it looks amazing, so a little pain is worth it. I'm even "modifying" my halloween costume to show it off. I'm going as a fairy and had this awesome lavender sparkly dress that I'm ripping a seam out of to show my whole leg. The dress looks better that way anyway. And I'm never going to wear it anywhere else, so it's not like I'm ruining anything. Now to sew the edges and figure out how to make wings...

Yep, nothing interesting to blog about. At least I tried.

1 comment:

PCOSMama said...

Interesting to me!

I can't stand my hubby being gone either and we've been lucky not to have major deployments yet. The longest he's been gone is 3 months and that was right after we got married. Nowadays it's just a week or two here and there, but I still go crazy! It just throws off your whole routine... not to mention you are so used to having someone there to lean on and talk to.

Can't wait to see the tattoo!