I think I have enough time... (kids mentioned)

This is probably my last chance to blog before we leave for Louisianna for the holidays, so here I go. Very quickly, though, because R is in the ceiling right now.

The ornaments were a hit at school. The kids had so much fun. I think "THE" popular girl in the class has a little crush on Little H. And I mean "THE" girl- blonde hair, blue eyes, competes in figure skating, great reader (hey, it's 1st grade, that is a big deal), the works. She blinks her long, perfectly curved lashes just a little bit more when he's around. And she kept talking to him and me, but not clingy like a couple of the girls. Of course, she'll turn into a bitch around middle school and barely look at him because her parents have money and his mom doesn't, but for now I think she likes him.

The puppies are growing so fast. The camera's still out in the car, but I got some great pics so I will try very hard to post again before we leave. They're almost standing on their feet now instead of scooting across the floor. And they go potty on their own (quite gross, actually, but a stage in growing up so it's like an accomplishment), they lick Mama's food sometimes (they love the yogurt that my mom mixes in to help Mama Dog get more calcium and have less gas), and you can see little nubbies in their mouths where teeth will soon come in.

Sorry I don't have time for more, R has now found the leak (he got dripped on last night, out of nowhere). The next couple days will be spent trying to figure out what to do there until Spring (when we will likely have to re-roof the house). Any free time will be spent cleaning, packing, cleaning, packing, and going over my list repeatedly to make sure nothing was forgotten. Would you all mind emailing me every once in a while reminding me to eat? That's not written on my schedule so I'll probably forget. Thanks!

If I don't get a chance before then: Merry Christmas (and Joyful Celebration of whatever holiday(s) you choose to recognize, I only specified Christmas because that is my belief/holiday of choice, I am open and loving of all holidays and times of togetherness and cheer)! And Happy New Year (I should be home by then, but just in case)!

Oh, and a tiny tidbit of ponderful information- I took a "what's the best religion for you" test thing, and it said that I'm 94% in agreement with the Jewish faith. I'm not immensely dedicated to Christianity, there is much I disagree with (I'm pro-choice and I love gay people, just to name a couple arguements). Maybe I should research this some more. I could so light candles and rid my house of flour products once a year, and all that other stuff Mel does. And love every part of my chosen faith, not just "some of the big stuff." I'm not even that dedicated to Christmas, except for the emphasis on family and togetherness, and Judaism has days emphasizing family and togetherness, so I think I could convert well. Yeah, very much wanting to research more. I'll keep you all updated. (R doesn't dig the conversion idea, that may put a damper in my plans. But at least I'll know that my beliefs do fit somewhere, I'm not the worst Christian ever, I just think like a Jew... can I joke like that? is it offensive? because I see it as Jews being way more accepting and Christians being way too judgemental, so thinking like a Jew is a good thing in my experience. I'll shut up now.)

Festively... decorative

Half the ornaments are done (the round ones, they're so much easier). The other half are hopefully getting cut by the awesome machine at the copy shop tomorrow afternoon. Which means tomorrow evening and all day Tuesday are scheduled for folding and gluing (every second, because it took 2 full days to fold and glue the easy ones).

And now, the pics. Hello? Crafty McCrafty? You here to see them? You requested. And I'm doing pretty good at that pictures in every post thing so far... I'll be lazy later, right now I want to show off.

Please ignore the extensive dirtiness of my floor, the grout never got sealed (that is the least of my complaints about the shitty contractor the guy we bought the house from hired) and one little grain of sand can make the whole floor look black. Instead, focus on the gigantic pile of ornaments that R and I made. And the measly 4 pointy ones, which means we have 56 left to do.

Festively Barely Dressed

Last night was it, T-day, the time to finally get a picture of my tattoo (stage 3 of ?). Took a shower, shaved my legs carefully, applied lotion (and leg make-up to hide the fact that my tan is beyond faded away and there are stretch marks on my butt- way to be a late bloomer, Roy). Cute little skirt, lacy boy-short panties because I had to lift my skirt a little to expose all of it, sexy black heels. It's a picture of my leg, no need to put on a shirt, right?

R took a little creative license with the photography. Cut out the shoe once, trying to get a good angle and catch me not covering my boob. Hello, the shoes are important, I love those shoes! Anyway, I guess I should post the evidence now. And a reminder from when I first got it done- NEVER TATTOO YOUR ASS! I'm hoping for stage 4 next Wednesday, although I'm not looking forward to it because I'm really not excited for the pain. What we do for beauty (or what we consider beauty, because I'm sure there are some out there that don't think my tattoo is anywhere near beautiful, but I'm in love with it)...

Volunteering to be crafty- why it's the stupidest idea ever! (kids mentioned)

Little H is adorable. He's in first grade. By default of age and size, pretty much his entire class is adorable. As well as the other first grade class in his school, located in the classroom across the hall. The things they do are adorable. The things they say are adorable. The cheap crap they make at school is adorable. And now, storytime:

So...... one day a gorgeous, intelligent, lovable stepmother was making paper Christmas ornaments. Her mom and aunt had gotten a book of them at some craft store for her birthday in August, knowing that she would love it (and that it would take her those entire 4 months in between to actually get them done, because her craftiness comes in very short spurts). Her adorable stepson wanted to help. That's a big N-O. After spending hours cutting them out, gluing them together, and adding glitter paint and beads and pieces of random jewelry that nobody wears anymore, there was no way she was going to let little 6 year old hands screw it up.

Instead, the fabulous, genius that she was offered to come into his classroom for an entire day and decorate some (made of construction paper) with all of his classmates. The stepson with the pinchable cheeks consented to that idea. The caring, stunning, amazing stepmother made the same proposition to the teacher. The teacher beamed with delight.

Two weeks later, the alluring, radiant, astute stepmother and the teacher met to look at the template, decide how many, and set a date. The teacher asked if both classrooms could do it. The giving, naive stepmother happily agreed (the teacher had made it a point to rave about the gullible stepmother to the other first grade teacher right in front of her, so the moronic stepmother was in an all-to-ambitious mood).

Now the doltish, witless stepmother is attempting this impossible feat. She has managed to print the template onto the construction paper, but the remainder of the project seems insurmountable. Cutting out 6 designs per ornament, folding them, gluing them, starting all over again for the next one. 120 ornaments, that's 720 pieces. Sure, half of them are circles (which are easier to cut, but harder to fold), but the other half resemble squares with spades attached to each side. A mere 40 pieces have been cut, which has rendered the scissors dull and the haggard stepmother's hands cramped.

Only one week left to finish them all. They go to the teacher on Thursday to be punched and string added to hang them with. The stepmother is driving downstate on Wednesday to do some necessary picture-taking for the tattoo-shop website (and some sitting around, because the crew there is awesome and fun). So, really only 5 days to complete the project. The stepmother has begun wondering if there is anything short of the flu that will get her out of this. But she knows that even if she was near-death with the flu she would feel guilty about messing up the teacher's craft time plans and never forgive herself for it (this stepmother is very good at causing/pointing out guilt, so much so that she overwhelms herself in her own). So, the cramped hands take a short break and then return to their arduous task.

Those adorable children better be excited, lest the fatigued stepmother have a mental break down and be unable to maintain her cheerful facade in their presence.

Seriously, I'll fucking scream and rip the ornaments to shreds if those little brats don't enjoy my hard work. Those were my favorite scissors, damn it, and now they don't cut anything. Off to buy at least 2 more pairs of scissors, hopefully they will make it through.