How about a real(ish) introduction?

Yesterday I needed to vent, I needed to babble on and on, I needed to get the words out no matter who read them. This morning is a fresh start, however, and as such I think it should be used to properly make my start here.

There are so many things affecting my life/brain/emotions, that I don't know where to begin. I'm just going to start listing. Maybe in the coming weeks/months I will return to the list and get into the details of individual points. Right now, though, let it be the highlights of what makes me tick.


THE LIST:

1. 24 years old, married 2 1/2 years, together an indeterminable amount of time. We'd known each other since 5th grade (never liked each other in that way, but it was a small school so you knew everybody), started "dating" a year after graduation when he came back from A.rmy Bas.ic Training (he was buff, compared to the rather scrawny guy he was in hs, I had finally started looking like a grown teen instead of an 11 year old). It was mostly physical for quite a while, very off and on for 3 years. He proposed out of the blue, we weren't even "on again" when he proposed. I accepted, a few months later he deployed to S.inai Egy.pt, he came home, we eloped, big wedding 2 months later. We both had amazingly crappy jobs, not a penny to spare for anything other than car insurance and gas to get to work (shared his care, lived with my parents because we couldn't afford rent even). He lucked upon a job 2 hours away, an opportunity that only lasted a split second, and he took it. 8 months later I finally moved with him. A year later we bought our house. We've lived in this house almost 6 months now.

2. I actually hate the town we live in. I gave up all my friends to come here, and this town isn't one that replaces friends well. 18 months here and people still won't look at me in the grocery store. Nobody says hello when they pass you walking in the parking lot. They cling to their own and it takes a decade for an "outsider" to even start breaking in. There is no nightlife, no place for a girl in her 20's to get out and experience life. We went from a college town to an empty one. People look at me out of the corner of their eye, and their looks tell me that I'm not one of them. I can try, I can be the polite one that initiates conversations, I can pursue relationships with them, but it won't work. The closest thing I have to a friend up here is the 70 year old couple across the road, and I don't even know their names.

3. I have a stepson (meet Little H). He won't be talked about much on here, that situation is so much more than a blog can handle, and it's not the reason for my blogging. But, if I do mention him in passing, now you know.

TO BE CONTINUED... (when R isn't here and able to read over my shoulder)