15 March 2007

Two weekends in a row! (children mentioned)

I know, I know, I said that Little H would hardly be mentioned on here, but here I go with a whole post that will likely revolve entirely around him.

Before I get into that, how about another dream? I don't remember much, just a huge examining room, me in one of those cute little butt-baring hospital gowns, big metal table (with about 50 layers of that paint they use on them, bright white), some stirrups, and a conversation. There was a dr, but he's rather unimportant in comparison to the conversation. The conversation was a bit argumentative, a little manipulative, and maybe a slight guilt trip. I wanted the guy with me to hold my hand. Many reasons: 1. he was standing down past the stirrups, and that didn't feel right, guys don't need to see us in that position, EVER. 2. I was nervous and wanted somebody to hold my hand. 3. if I was pg, then he was the father dammit, and he owed me. Hmmm, the guy was very much not R. I'm not really sure who he was, when he was past the stirrups I had a huge operating room light shining and couldn't see him and when he came up to hold my hand he was in some serious shadow (how blinding light and impenetrable shadow are in the same room I don't know, just go with it). Very weird. There was nothing else, just the surroundings and the conversation. Whatever test I was having must have been performed after I awoke, and the dr was mute.

And now, on to Little H. He came up for a day last weekend, amid all the furniture moving and other general busyness. Well, his mom wants to trade this weekend for next, which means we get to see the little man 2 weekends in a row. It works out great, because R is taking Friday off (he needs a day off, this week has kicked his butt and next week will be even worse) so he'll be well-rested and relaxed when we go down to see Little H on Saturday. There is an important family funeral on Friday that Little H needs to make an appearance at, but R's aunt is willing to take him for us so we don't have to drive down a day early (not that important if we can skip it without hesitation, but one that Little H should make an appearance at to see relatives that aren't often around). We'll probably end up going to a movie or bowling (one of Little H's favorites) or renting some video games to play at my parents' house. Who knows, but it'll be fun and I'll get to see my little boy again.

Adding to the energy level of the weekend, one nephew will be at my parents' house (because my brother lives with them) this weekend, too. This nephew (we'll call him Beaver) is 6 months younger than Little H and turns 5 in May (the other nephew- Baby B- is a year younger than Beaver, just for reference), with 10X the energy. Beaver can run and yell and spin in circles and jump off stairs and climb the toy shelves and carry around a dozen books and throw a ball for the dog all at the same time. I get exhausted watching that boy sleep, because I know once he's awake he'll be on the move again. It's like police surveilance, we post family members throughout the house to kind of keep track of him as he moves. When you get any other child within 100 yards of Beaver, he goes into overdrive. Hugging and trying to carry around (he picks up my brother's 95lb girlfriend, he's fricken 4 years old, that's massive) and inventing games and whatever other interactions two little boys have, all in the first 5 seconds of the second child's arrival. It's crazy. I'm going to need diazep.am to come down from the day (crap, I've been out for over a year, stupid me wanting to "deal with my emotions myself." Rely on drugs, you moron, it works), maybe just a nice long shower and a foot rub from R. All that running will make my feet ache. R is the designated X-b.ox operator and ruler supreme, which leaves me to fetch and read and cook and tend booboos and attempt to maintain some level of control (or at least tolerable volume level). We shall bring the Nin.ja Turt.les game we bought Little H for Christmas, that will teach R to try to electronically parent. Both will be jumping and kicking in time with the characters on the screen and I will have time for a leisurely walk to visit Papa and Grandma and see what new quilt Grandma is working on and what random item Papa bought because it was really cheap. That man can get a good deal on anything (my dining room table and 4 chairs: yard sale originally marked $20, Papa got it all for $4).

New development: we will be returning Little H to his biomom instead of using R's aunt as a go-between. This is a very rare occurance indeed (has only happened once in the past year, before that it hadn't been since before our wedding- that was a fun drop-off, lots o' drama), but she has seemed to mature in the past couple years. I guess popping out bastard child #3 and #4 will do that to trailer trash (I would never say anything bad about Little H's mom in front of him, but behind his back I can say whatever I want, and all her kids are totally innocent, they didn't choose the circumstances of their birth, I feel terrible for all of them, they have a hard life ahead, made even harder because of what they have for a mom, and we are always beyond civil around her, we want to get/stay on her good side and if that means sucking up that's what we do). This is going to be one interesting weekend.

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